Ruby On Weddings

From the "Adventures of Ruby Gardenia" Script. Act II scene I

Ruby: Where were we?... Love….right….love has always been the most important thing me…and the most illusive…. But just think about it…I’m a woman who’s marched down the isle of matrimony 7 times… and engaged 9…all with the most sincere intentions of finding true love… and all I have to show for that … besides the jewelry of course…and the 7
wedding dresses…and…well…. 6 to be exact…I loved number 3 so much I wore it twice…not counting the night I wore it to the Governor’s Ball….anyway what I'm trying to say is... all I have to show for the 7 I do’s are the 7 divorce decrees … Know all about love?…I mean really.

I think at my next wedding I’ll put all those wedding gowns in my closet to good use… I might just wear royal purple…or mango madness … and have all the bridesmaids in white… White stands for purity and virginity… Bullmanocky!!! ... White’s not a color!... It’s just the extreme lack of…pig-men-ta-tion.


You know…That might be why… seven “I do’s didn’t take for me…all black and white weddings… Hmmmm……what if it’s all that simple…when you’ve got it goin’ on with just the right color Dress and Shoes….who’s thinking about if it’s the right man.

Ruby: Around here…if anybody has any questions about their wedding…it’s “Ask Ruby” ...hehehehehe….. she knows everything about weddings hehehehehe….but REALLY! what does a perfectly planned wedding have to do with TRUE LOVE?…Yeah they call me

the Wedding Expert to my face…and I know they’re all getting a big kick out of that…and yes I’ve heard what they call me behind my back too hehehehehe .….and I suppose it’s true…that I am also the Divorce expert. But that little joke….stops being funny quick ….when THEY’RE in the middle of it! I get a call most every week from
someone who stopped laughing and started listening. A lady’s gotta learn how to take care of her business.

Take care of yourselves always,

Love,

Ruby